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Mirroring the shaman’s initiatory journey of the descent, Initiatrix is also the story of my own personal journey of healing and transformation.
In shamanism, as with Goddess-based spirituality, there are many archetypical stories where the initiate shaman makes a journey into the Underworld and meets her or his shadow – typically a repressed fear or deep wound – and having faced and integrated this shadow aspect, she transforms. This journey mirrors the cycle of life and nature, a constant process of death and regeneration. 

Following a painful period of loss and adversity three years ago, I went through an internal death process, being called to let go of a younger, more immature part of myself that had to die. The years that followed were a time of recovery, growth and learning. I spent many hours walking and found my deepest healing in nature. I’d long had a talent for vocalising pure celestial sound, but emerging from this experience, I could feel that a more instinctive primal voice was calling to be expressed.

Initiatrix illustrates this journey of descent and renewal, weaving classically structured songs with chants, instrumentals, poems and primal sounds. I hope you enjoy it!

Heloise Pilkington
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